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Book Of Days Excerpt

21 Feb

We get to an island the boat stops a little far from the shore. It can’t go any further due to the ruins surrounding the shore we get off the ship. And with a small boat we get as close as possible we then swim to shore unfortunately for Diablo he can’t swim. So Valetine had to hold on to him, we walk onto shore nothing, but ruins. “Was this a town?” I said

Maybe…but as long as I’ve known it’s always been this way.” Allen said, we keep walking the island is covered with mountain range the closer we get the hotter it gets. “I hate the heat so damn much.”

It’s hot because we are near an active volcano.” Ezekiel said

Ah hell no! That’s it this is where I draw the line, I’m going back to the ship!” I said

Katie get over here the volcano hasn’t erupted in years.” Ezekiel said

What if it decides to erupt now? I refuse to go any further.” I said

That’s an order.” Ezekiel said

That’s an order.” I said mockingly

We get to the volcano a large building is at the bottom we enter. The ceiling center has caved in shedding light on Cybele and two priestesses at her side. Cybele wears a red robe, she sits on ruins that make a chair under a large statue of three woman. Each one with a different phase of the moon tattooed on t their stomachs. We sit on the ruins that make a circle, she stands the robe hits the floor exposing her naked body. The guys jaw drops, eyes popping out of their sockets as I turn away embarrassed. Our teachers sit there not faze by what they are seeing. She stops at each and every one of the guys looking down on them. She turns to Ezekiel she touches Ezekiel on the head she whispers something in his ear. She looks to Allen and said “What will you do when all falls apart? Who will keep you together? How will you keep hope alive? Where will you turn for the compassion you desperately need? To the sea to find a lonely heart just like yours.” she comes to me I don’t look at her. She kneels down and she places her hand on my face and turns my face to meet her left blue and right gold-colored eyes. She stands in the middle of the circle she waits. A strong hot wind carries ashes and embers from the volcano dances around her. It lifts her off her feet she spins and the wind dies she lands on her feet. She looks up hair in front of her face the blue eye is now gold, her gold eye is now blue.

Oh Katie we are too far apart, I miss you so much

But I couldn’t feel closer as I do to you now.

Don’t worry about me I’m happy where I am,

But I have a message for you.

Remy? Is that you?” I said

What lies beyond the barriers of this world? If I told you would you believe me?

I see the walls of this world and many others crumbling one by one.

If I could warn you I would tell you this one of you will rise, one of you will fall.

A bond will be formed and it will be a strong bond, some will volunteer,

Some who understand you will never abandon you and one will follow for forgiveness.

But you are not given the luxury to say no. because you four are chosen to be our modern heroes.

What are you talking about? Can you make sense?” I said

As that band forms another will crumble right before your eyes,

You cannot do anything to stop it because the road you will take is meant to be with others.

You are about to find out that the future is not as forgiving as you thought it was.

There is betrayal, there is confusion, there is blood,

There will be more loss than lost, and finally there is revenge.

But isn’t Destiny what you make of it?” I said

But there is salvation yes, salvation.

And you will find it in the oddest places. If I could help you I would.

Oh, Kate those wings you acquired put the real angels to shame.

Your such a fake angel, Kate, confront the unknown head on.

Be the tough girl you are, be admirable, don’t lose that fire inside,

But above all else forgive those who trespass against you.

I love you Kate always remember that.

Take care guys

I could swear to you that it was Remy speaking through her. Cybele falls to the floor one of the priestess come to her. She covers her with the robe and helps Cybele back on the chair, the other priestess carries four scrolls. She hands one to the guys and me, “Cybele, drew these months ago she said when they come they will need these to help in the future.” I open mine it is a map with an X inside a cave. A riddle is at the bottom, the priestess lens in and says “I’m sorry, try to keep your heart open.”

“Thank you and I will keep my heart open but what are you sorry for?” I said

For his lie, you will suffer.” she said, she looks at Ezekiel

“Ezekiel what is she talking about?” I said, Ezekiel get up and walks away then entire way home he stayed locked inside his room. What lie and why do I have to pay for it?

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7 Comments

Posted by on February 21, 2011 in Book

 

7 responses to “Book Of Days Excerpt

  1. Brenda

    February 23, 2011 at 2:19 am

    Hey Katie, there is a lot of missing punctuation which makes it kind of hard to read and understand. One example is the following:
    “Maybe…but as long as I’ve known it’s always been this way.” Allen said, we keep walking the island is covered with mountain range the closer we get the hotter it gets.

    It should read something like:
    “Maybe … but as long as I’ve known it’s always been this way,” Allen said. We keep walking. The island is covered with mountain range and the closer we get, the hotter it gets.

    OR

    covered with mountain range. The closer …

    You know what I mean?

    Also, I like the whole Cybele part. Somehow I’m able to picture her really well and her movements are pretty cool. The only part that got confusing was when Katie started to ask about Remy. At first, I was loving it because I was thinking Katie was having a moment where she was hearing Remy in another dimension or something (it reminded me of Final Fantasy 8). Then at the end I find out it was Cybele having an episode & Katie thought it sounded like Remy … I think my confusion happened because of how it was written, not the wording, but how you chose to present it in italics while you presented her whispering to Allen a different way.

    The story is raw though and I like your writing style. The whole thing sounds like it’s being told and I’m able to picture everything. That’s nice, I like the action so far!

     
  2. Brenda

    February 23, 2011 at 2:20 am

    Dude I just posted a super long comment!!! Did it post? I don’t see it! Oh no, I’m having a panic attack!

     
  3. Rogue

    February 23, 2011 at 4:00 am

    I know, I know, I’m a good story teller but suck very very much at grammar. –.– But I’m trying to improve, its a good thing Rocio is going to be a teacher. So she can be my editor once school is over yay!!

     
  4. Rogue

    February 23, 2011 at 4:04 am

    Yeah its still Raw…I’m still working on it but my eyes need a break because it doesn’t catch all the mistakes. Oh, and don’t worry Brenda you did post them it just I have to approve the comments before they appear.

     
    • Brenda

      February 23, 2011 at 7:21 pm

      Ooohhh okay. Cool then, hahaha. Dude that’s awesome Rocio is studying to be a teacher.

      Keep’em coming! Hurry! hahah just kidding, take your time.

       
  5. Brenda

    February 23, 2011 at 7:23 pm

    Also I meant raw as in badass – great story lol

     
  6. Rogue

    February 23, 2011 at 8:27 pm

    The book itself is done but not all the editing. I’m debating on wither or not to post up the book in monthly installments, what do you think?? Oh lol yeah Raw to me means something completely different lol

     

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